Or is it the other way around? Anyway…
A few weeks ago now, Chawa, Brokentree, and I entered into a random heroic instance using the LFD tool. BT was going to tank on his warrior, Chawa heal on her priest, and I was going to DPS with my mage. We ended up getting Pit of Saron. It went smoothly up until the Krick & Ick fight, where a Death Knight ended up biting it. Some drama ensued and it resulted in vote-kicking him from the group for being rather rude.
I really wanted to rant and rave about this guy being a jerk, but decided against it. Then a little while ago while I was watching some Judge Judy on TV (I’m addicted!), Chawa had this great thought:
What would it be like if Judge Judy was addressing the drama that came up in LFD PuGs?
So, we conceptualized the dying DK situation from awhile ago and co-wrote this fun little Judge Judy court case.
Warning: It’s a bit of a longer read, but it’s a good bit of fun! 🙂 Please enjoy!
Real Heros – Real LFD PUG Groups – Judge Judy!
Plaintiff: Deathdecade** – GS 5534, Died in Heroic Pit of Saron and got kicked for it. Plaintiff is seeking compensation for repair bills incurred by dying, as well as time and emblems lost as a result of being kicked from the instance.
Defendant: Stinka – Accused of giving no heals despite it being her primary role in the group.
Bailiff: Order! All rise!
*Judge Judy enters the courtroom, sits down and skims over some paperwork before addressing the plaintiff*
JJ: So, Mr.Deathdecade how do you know the defendant?
DD: From a random PUG.
JJ: Excuse me?
DD: A random PUG.
JJ: You owned a dog together?
DD: No, no. From a random pick-up-group. I had queued for a random dungeon in order to earn my two Emblems of Frost for the day.
JJ: So there is no dog?
DD: Well I do have a Perky Pug but I had it way before I ever met this healer. And I didn’t bring it to the dungeon.
JJ: Okay, then tell me what happened.
DD: It was during the Krick and Ick fight in heroic Pit of Saron. Ick was casting explosive barrage and I got absolutely no heals, not even a bubble!
JJ: Then what happened?
DD: I died and once the fight was over, I said “ty for the heals”. Once I was ressurected, they kicked me.
JJ: But you hadn’t gotten any heals.
DD: Not a one. I know; I was watching my health drop.
JJ: So, then you were being rude.
DD: Well, she let me die.
JJ: You were being sarcastic when you said thank you for “the heals”. And that would be being rude.
DD: Yeah, but she…
JJ: You, sir, were being rude – regardless of her letting you die. That kind of attitude…
DD: But at the very least she could have…
JJ: Don’t interrupt me! You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen to me – you were being rude and that’s probably not the best way to deal with the situation, now was it?
DD: *clearly holding back other words* No, your honor.
JJ: *Turns to Stinka* So, Miss Stinka. Is it true what Mr. Deathdecade has told me? Did you not heal him?
ST: Yes, it’s true.
*The courtroom stirs with surprised chatter*
JJ: Order! *bangs gavel*
*Judge Judy eyes the courtroom, waiting for silence before resuming her questions with Stinka*
JJ: So, you’re admitting to the fact that you didn’t heal him?
JJ: Is it not your responsibility to heal your party members?
ST: Yes, it is.
JJ: Then tell me, Miss, what you were doing that was so important that you decided not to heal Mr. Deathdecade?
ST: I didn’t decide not to heal him; I just didn’t get to him in time.
JJ: Well, then what stopped you from healing him in time then?
ST: I was shielding, healing, and moving out of the way of the explosives.
JJ: If you weren’t shielding and healing Mr. Deathdecade, then who were you doing that to?
ST: I focused on the warrior tank, but I also believe I got a bubble on the retribution paladin. By the time I got around to shielding Deathdecade, it was too late. His health just dropped too fast.
JJ: And why was that?
DD: Because I got no heals!
JJ: Ankt! *makes a dismissive hand gesture* I’m not talking to you, sir!
*DD shakes his head, looking displeased*
ST: I’m not sure why his health dropped so quickly. In the argument followed his death, some of the others in the group believed it was because he wasn’t trying to dodge the explosives. I don’t know. I wasn’t watching what he was doing. I was watching the health bars of the group members.
JJ: You were watching health bars – did anyone else’s health bar dropped as rapidly as Mr. Deathdecade’s?
ST: No, they didn’t.
DD: Because THEY were getting healed!
JJ: By the sounds of it, they were also dodging explosions, sir. Were you dodging explosions?
DD: I was DPS’ing the boss!
JJ: That’s not what I asked you. Were you, or were you not, dodging explosions?
DD: I can’t attack the boss if I’m dodging explosions.
JJ: So, you weren’t dodging explosions. Who in their right minds stands in an explosion? Let alone multiple explosions?!
DD: But you can heal through that!
JJ: Now you wouldn’t have needed healing if you were dodging explosions, now would you?
DD: But the job of the healer is to HEAL!
JJ: Certainly, but not so you can just stand around in a fire! Not so you can put yourself needlessly in harms way! Don’t be ridiculous, sir! If you know an explosion is coming, you dodge it! It’s that simple!
*Darthregis, sitting in Stinka’s corner, lets out a short, audible chuckle*
JJ: You, sir, please stand up. *DR stands and moves over to the podium next to Stinka* And whom might you be?
DR: Imma Darthregis, mon. I woz in da dungeon wit boat da plaintiff and da defendant.
JJ: And what were you doing there? You obviously weren’t trying to heal Deathdecade.
DR: No, mon, I woz dere to ‘elp attack da boss, Ick.
JJ: So, you were also attacking the boss. Did you also die because of these… explosive barrages?
DR: Nah, I keep me backside safe anna got me a few heals.
DD: He was also being rude, your honor!
DR: Only coz he woz…
JJ: Just a second, here! What’s this about him being rude? What did he say to you?
DD: After being rez’ed, he said, “In theory, you should take no damage during that phase.”
JJ: So he was involved in the argument after the fight, aggravating the situation, then?
DR: Nah, mon! Da cow woz bein’ no good, had tah put him in his spot, mon!
JJ: The way I see it, you were making a volitile situation more volitile. Just like you are right now.
DR: But yo’ honah…
JJ: I don’t want to hear it! Bailiff, get this troll out of my courtroom. *Judge Judy makes a shooing gesture with her hands*
*the Bailiff moves to escort Darthregis out and he unhappily complies*
JJ: So we’ve established that Mr. Deathdecade was standing in fire…
JJ: Fire, explosions, whatever! You were standing where you shouldn’t have been. But tell me about being kicked from the group. Tell me when and how this happened?
DD: Well, after the boss, Ick, was downed, we had a bit of an argument about me not getting heals. Once that was over, we were getting lined up for the next group of mobs. And then all of a sudden, I found myself outside of the instance, meaning I had been kicked from the group.
JJ: How did they kick you from the group?
DD: To kick someone from the group, you have to start a vote to kick a certain person. Three people from the group have to vote “yes” for it to pass.
JJ: Miss Stinka, were you arguing with Mr.Deathdecade?
ST: No, I didn’t. The Ick fight was still in progress at the time.
JJ: And when the fight was over?
ST: I still didn’t participate. I was getting ready to continue progressing through the dungeon and to be honest, I’m not talented enough to do that and chat at the same time.
JJ: Did you initiate the vote to kick Mr. Deathdecade?
JJ: But you voted “yes” to kick him?
ST: No, I did not.
JJ: What? After being rude to you and then part of an argument afterwards, you still didn’t even vote to have him removed from the group?
ST: That’s correct.
JJ: Why not?
ST: Because he was right. I didn’t get any heals to him. I felt guilty about his death and wondered if I could have done something different. I wondered if I could have used a different spell. I wondered if his death was due to him being the last box in my healing grid which is a horribly pathetic excuse for why someone died. *sighs* I’m still new at healing. I’m still learning…
JJ: Hmph. Young Lady there is something you must learn and learn it quickly. You can’t heal stupid.++
*laughter fills the courtroom, Judge Judy waits for it to subside before continuing. Deathdecade looks horribly embarassed, shaking his head*
JJ: So, about the vote to kick. That means the other three people – the three people not directly involved in this dispute – were the ones that would had Mr. Deathdecade removed from the group?
JJ: Let me get this straight. Mr. Deathdecade wants to get compensated because he died while standing in explosions and for being kicked out of a group by the people he wasn’t even being rude to? This is preposterous!
DD: But your honor!
JJ: It’s preposterous! And your claim is dismissed! Miss Stinka owes you nothing, Mr. Deathdecade. And you should probably owe her an apology. You are both excused.
*Cut to the outside of the court for individual comments*
DD: I wouldn’t have died if I had just gotten some heals. I’m NOT sorry for what I said.
ST: I still wonder if I could have done something better. Maybe some healers can heal through that. I feel bad that the vote kick happened …
DR: When da Judge lady dere kicked me out, I wanna ta cast a Frostbolt on her so bad, mon. But she problee be so damn cold, she wouldna feel a ting!
** Deathdecade is a fictitious name based on a real character. Any similiarity in names is purely coincidental…and I’m too lazy to think up a name no one else has.